Sunday, October 17, 2010

So who the hell are you?

Twenty-some years ago, it began in a puddle of a town along the coast of Washington.  A town with little other claim to fame than being the birthplace of a musical artist who hated it almost as much as he despised himself.  It was also the home port of a small ship which went on to play great Hollywood roles in films like Star Trek: Generations and The Pirates of the Caribbean.  Regardless of these brief glints of limelight, Aberdeen was unremarkable to any who passed through it.  It may have been unremarkable to me had I not spent the majority of my youth there.  I owe a strange amount of my interests and character to the lack-luster of a town half-drowned in both sea and rain water.

I was an oddity among my female peers; a rag-doll in an otherwise hot-pink-hued world of Barbies.  I was forced to confront what most people do in their teenage years at the formative age of seven.  Do you try to be one of the group? Or do you continue on as you are and wait for someone to befriend you for that instead?  I would like to boast that my first instinct was to chose the latter, but I'd be lying and I'd rather not have this first confessional between us be that tainted with fallacy. Of course I wanted to fit in--there's a strange desire for familial bonds--especially when we're children.  I was near desperate to be one of them for a few years--so much that at one point, I even used what little money I had to buy 'accessories' off  one of the inner-circle girls because she had assured me that 'accessories' were the road to popularity.

Luckily, this phase wasn't too long lasting and eventually, I gave up.  In my exile as the 'weird girl' in my small elementary school, I had already been drawing comfort from the worlds of  Tolkien, the Mushroom Kingdom, and any other fantasy/sci-fi novel and video game that came my way. Eventually, I forfeited Barbie world for the one of my imagination.  I think it was coming to the realization that everything I enjoyed--they either didn't know existed or thought it was stupid, and ironically enough, vice versa.  It wasn't worth the effort. Though these events are not obviously solely responsible for who I am today, but I believe they are what started me off in the 'geek way'.  And that's really what I boil down to. A geek. Plain and simple, just a geek with a handful of dreams like all other geeks.  The only difference now, is that I know I'm not alone.  

So this is me.  This is my story in progress.  If you don't want to read, I understand completely.  If you do? Well... Welcome aboard. It's going to be one hell of a ride.

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