Thursday, November 29, 2012

My mother and I and Serious Pie

Hey Internet,

So... we've known each other for a while now. We've seen each other grow. I remember when you were overrun with AngelFire and Geocities, you remember when I thought ICQ was the coolest thing ever.

But we don't get personal very often. And that's starting to almost feel a little weird. So... here we go. A little bit of serious pie.

I'd been out of the country for about 24hrs, so my phone was out of commission. I only had wifi and even then, I didn't bother trying to access it. It was pretty awesome.

I wasn't stressing about what I had to do, I got to enjoy where I was rather than my mind being five hundred other places...

But then that thing happened. That thing you never want to happen when you're unreachable. Someone I cared very much about about got hurt.

I crossed the border back into the US and my phone buzzed with a text message notification. I wasn't sure at first when it was originally sent. All I knew is my Dad had texted:

"Picking mom up at the ER. She is ok but another Honda bites the dust."

I had to take the next exit (which I swear took ages just to come to a place where I could pull in and park) so I could call. Thankfully that text wasn't that old. He was at the hospital with Mom and she was, as he'd said, fine. A little sore but no real damage.

Let me clarify a few things. My mom has a history of grand mal seizures. Those are the ones that you actually fall to the ground and shake and lose complete control of your body. Not fun, but not fatal. The last one she'd had was a little over 3 months ago, I think. She wasn't supposed to be driving (when you have a seizure, you're supposed to go at least 6 months without having another before you're allowed to drive again) but she's stubborn so if no one else was going to take her--of course she was going to do it herself.

I admire her for that independence--I definitely wouldn't be nearly as self-sufficient had she been any different...

But I have never been more terrified in my life. We got lucky. Really lucky. The car was totaled. There's a lot of ways that story could have ended and I'm well aware we got the unlikely one.

There's more to this story--more about why she had to drive herself but I'd rather focus on something more positive. I'd like to tell you about my mom.

My mother was my first inspiration to write. While she has never aggressively pursued publishing, I grew up with her love of mystery novels and penchant for writing them. This may also be why I love Murder, She Wrote and Castle so much.

My bizarre tendency to break out into song and treat everything like a musical, is probably also attributed to her. She brought me up in a world of music and song and dance and regardless if I was ever good at any of them, I always found joy in them.

She taught me how to make a grilled cheese correctly after she realized I'd been making toast and then putting them in the microwave around a slice of kraft (I was too young to use the stove without super vision. I also was still short so this required a chair.) She showed me how to bake sugar cookies and crack and egg with one hand.

She's an absolute ham--I guess that's genetic. Even the darkest hours could be a little hopeful with just a touch of silliness. She's courageous and beautiful and regardless that there's plenty we don't agree on, she has always supported me. I don't know who I'd be--or where I'd be without her.

I'm not sure why I'm telling you this... I guess I felt like since I hadn't talked about something that really mattered on a personal level before--here was a great place to start. 

My mother means the world to me. She has been and always will be a huge part of who I am. She's everything good in me, my compassion, my patience, my sense of humor...

And I am eternally grateful that I can pick up the phone today and hear her on the other end.

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