Thursday, June 27, 2013

Happy Thought Thursday

I'm currently sat on a mattress strewn on the water damaged floor of my old studio apartment. "Studio" being jargon for "one room flat". "Old" because this week I moved out. I had lived alone and this place had become a prison to me. My depression had taken everything internal that I despised about my life and figuratively plastered it all over the walls. 2 break ins and a flood hadn't been enough to drive me to find another place. It had been my shelter. My cave. Neither of those things were meant to comfort me, just keep me from going over the edge. When my friend suggested I move in with him (share the rent!) I agreed with some reticence . I was terrified of letting him see the condition I had let myself live in for the last 3 years. Yesterday, he saw. All my fears, everything I had compartmentalised to keep it away from the happy go lucky person I was when with my friends came pouring out as if through some gaping whole in my chest, straight from my heart. I'd never felt more vulnerable.

He looked around. "Don't worry about it." He said. "Think of this as a fresh start."

After years of thinking my friends would abandon me if they knew just how deep my depression went, I finally felt free. Now I realise what I've read over and over is true.

Depression lies.

"You're a bad person. No one cares about you. That's why you're alone. Even on Christmas Day."

You are not a bad person. You do have people that care about you. You don't have to be alone. Who you are from day to day is enough to warrant a place at the dinner table. Even on Christmas Day. So please, take care of yourself.

I'm thankful for my friends. One day soon I will open up to them fully. But first, I have the remnants of an old life to throw away as I finally clear this place out. Tonight is the last night I will sleep in these walls. I think it'll be the best nights sleep I've ever had.


"Happiness is a daddy/daughter day at the local park."


"Happiness is someone who just wants to love you."



What is "The Happy Thought" Project?

The ‘Happy Thought’ Project is an on-going collaborative work focused on the little things that make life worthwhile and make us smile. The goal is to create a collection of artwork (photography, drawings, writing) that bring hope and comfort.

These will be shared every Thursday.

If no content has been sent, I'll write something up on my own. Thursdays are going to be about sending positive thoughts into the world.

When enough content has been gathered, I would like to bind them into a book and donate whatever proceeds are obtained to the Crisis Clinic.

What Kind Of Things Can I Submit?
I accept drawings, photography, quotes, poems and short stories.

Drawings and Photos should be accompanied by a small amount of text (whether to explain or add to the picture) and should be something you personally own the rights to.

Poems should not be previously published.

Short stories should be no longer than half a page in a word document and should not be previously published. I use ‘short story’ loosely. This should be a personal story etc.

Quotes may be famous quotes but please credit them appropriately.

Some editing may be done to make sure spelling/punctuation is correct but for the most part I will try to keep all writing in tact as it is sent to me.

How Do I Submit Work?
For the time being, please send all Happy Thoughts to

Can I Submit More Than One Thought?

Is This Anonymous or Credited?
I would like to leave that up to you.

If you would like to be credited for your thought, I will use only FIRST NAMES.

Please indicate in your email submission if you would like to have your name mentioned. If there is no indication either way, I will assume you wish to remain anonymous.