Okay, before I get started, it's a brand new day, have you voted yet? (Promise these reminders will be gone in 6 days)
You have? Awesome, now we can move on to more important things.
Today we're going to cut a slice of serious pie--no, not even, we're going to have an entire serious pie and I don't mean that to be glib, this is one of the more touchy subjects I may talk about.
Today we're going to talk about binge eating.
Binge eating is often chalked up to being a joke--something comedians and sitcoms poke fun at as this light-hearted thing that people (usually women) indulge in from time to time during times of emotional duress. I'm not saying that there aren't perfectly silly or even harmless bouts of binging--but it's a little unnerving how while we're okay with joking about it... but very rarely can have a serious conversation about it.
"My inner fat kid".
But the truth is, it's not a joke. It's an eating-disorder. And it's an eating-disorder that I have been aware of and struggled with off and on since I was a teenager.
You see, something will happen, something seemingly small and innocuous and it sets you on edge and then something pushes you off that edge and then you tumble down and down into a self-perpetuating spiral of anxiety or depression. As teenagers we're especially vulnerable to this--we're at odds with ourselves, our bodies are changing, our desires are changing. We don't know how to find stability, we just feel lost and...
There's a reason they call it "comfort food".
And that's how it starts.
You eat because it's something to do.
You eat because it makes you feel better.
You eat until your stomach hurts and even after you stop you want to keep eating.
And eventually you realize that you've been eating when you weren't hungry. That you're putting on weight. And you feel anxious again. You don't just stop liking what you see in the mirror, you start to hate it. And you get depressed.
And then you eat again. Because it's the only time you feel good about yourself because your brain has started associating the endorphins released by fat and sugar as actual happiness.
And this cycle continues or it morphs into bulimia to 'over correct' the damage.
The Lara Project is about health and mental health is part of that. If this is something you're struggling with know you don't have to do it in silence. You have people who love you who are there to help you. People who may not understand why you really don't want that second piece of cake even if you keep looking at it like you do.
Especially in America, we live in a country of over-indulgence. Slogans that promote excess, or play off of what may be nothing to someone else but is a weakness to you.
"We dare you to eat just one."
I realize this may sound odd to someone who has never really thought much about this spectrum of eating disorders, but I'm trying to provide insight. Take that for what it's worth.
And if this is something you struggle with yourself, know you're not alone, because I know sometimes that makes all the difference.