50 hours at work, plus videos on my personal channel on top of my Geek & Sundry vlogs, working on Terra Mirum... it gets a tad exhausting. So while I think taking a bit a break from writing here was probably the best thing for me at the time, I'm really excited that I'm going to be able to get back to a more regular schedule.
If you're in the United States, today you'll possibly be celebrating Thanksgiving with your family or loved ones.
Either way, it's fairly likely you're getting those warm fuzzy feelings you get around the holidays when we remember those things we're grateful for.
Yes, it's going to be one of those cliche kinds of Thanksgiving posts.
But you know what? Thursdays are for Happy Thoughts and this is definitely what I'm vibing on today.
Almost a year ago today, we were taking pictures for family Christmas letters. All five of us.
I could spend this post talking about how we miss my brother, and how the holiday feels different without him and while it probably would be a little cathartic at first, I'm not sure how beneficial it would be in the long run.
Of course we miss him.
But I think more important than that is how as a family we've been repairing ourselves. It's been a slow and difficult process--and I don't think it will be over any time soon.
I know I say this a lot, but if anyone tells you how you're "supposed" to mourn, shut that down immediately.
The point being that the house I came home to last night was not the one I woke up to this morning.
When I arrived, my father was in my brother's room on his laptop, like he has been since the funeral, quiet and keeping to himself. We've all been sort of keeping to ourselves, I suppose.
But this morning I woke up to my mother starting the turkey and my father prepping grandma's famous roll recipe (Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where I say, "Sorry intestines" and just grin and bear the inevitable gluten and dairy induced pain). They were joking around with a movie playing in the background.
Since then we made a modest breakfast, chatted, played with the dog...
For the first time in this house, we felt like a family again. And I actually knew that eventually we'd be okay. It wouldn't be the same, but we'd be okay.
I'm eternally grateful for that.
It's been a hard year for all of us and we've got a lot to conquer ahead of us. But I think we'll get there.
This was a year of a lot of hard work paying off. I've met some amazing people who I'm looking forward to getting to know better and while the past 7 months have been stressful, I've had the privilege of working on a game franchise I'm exceptionally proud of.
And of course, and certainly not least, on top of my family and my friends who I'm very blessed to have, I have you. People I've never had the pleasure of meeting in person, who I still get to converse with. People who have extended their compassion to me even though we were hardly better than strangers.
In some ways, I'm the most grateful for you. You're constant proof that the world is full of good people. That even when it seems dark and bleak, there's hope.
So thank you.
I hope today is full of love for you.