Thursday, November 28, 2013

Of Thanks and Thursdays

This seemed like an appropriate day as any to try to start up a more regular schedule again. After all, one of the things I am very thankful for today would definitely being getting back to a 40-hour work week. While I know everyone was understanding, I missed being able to write here regularly.

50 hours at work, plus videos on my personal channel on top of my Geek & Sundry vlogs, working on Terra Mirum... it gets a tad exhausting. So while I think taking a bit a break from writing here was probably the best thing for me at the time, I'm really excited that I'm going to be able to get back to a more regular schedule. 

If you're in the United States, today you'll possibly be celebrating Thanksgiving with your family or loved ones. 

Either way, it's fairly likely you're getting those warm fuzzy feelings you get around the holidays when we remember those things we're grateful for. 

Yes, it's going to be one of those cliche kinds of Thanksgiving posts.

But you know what? Thursdays are for Happy Thoughts and this is definitely what I'm vibing on today. 

Almost a year ago today, we were taking pictures for family Christmas letters. All five of us.

I could spend this post talking about how we miss my brother, and how the holiday feels different without him and while it probably would be a little cathartic at first, I'm not sure how beneficial it would be in the long run.

Of course we miss him.  

But I think more important than that is how as a family we've been repairing ourselves. It's been a slow and difficult process--and I don't think it will be over any time soon.

I know I say this a lot, but if anyone tells you how you're "supposed" to mourn, shut that down immediately. 

The point being that the house I came home to last night was not the one I woke up to this morning. 

When I arrived, my father was in my brother's room on his laptop, like he has been since the funeral, quiet and keeping to himself. We've all been sort of keeping to ourselves, I suppose.

But this morning I woke up to my mother starting the turkey and my father prepping grandma's famous roll recipe (Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where I say, "Sorry intestines" and just grin and bear the inevitable gluten and dairy induced pain). They were joking around with a movie playing in the background. 

Since then we made a modest breakfast, chatted, played with the dog...

For the first time in this house, we felt like a family again. And I actually knew that eventually we'd be okay. It wouldn't be the same, but we'd be okay.

I'm eternally grateful for that. 

It's been a hard year for all of us and we've got a lot to conquer ahead of us. But I think we'll get there.

This was a year of a lot of hard work paying off. I've met some amazing people who I'm looking forward to getting to know better and while the past 7 months have been stressful, I've had the privilege of working on a game franchise I'm exceptionally proud of.

And of course, and certainly not least, on top of my family and my friends who I'm very blessed to have, I have you. People I've never had the pleasure of meeting in person, who I still get to converse with. People who have extended their compassion to me even though we were hardly better than strangers.

In some ways, I'm the most grateful for you. You're constant proof that the world is full of good people. That even when it seems dark and bleak, there's hope. 

So thank you. 

I hope today is full of love for you.

3 comments:

  1. Thank you for your videos. You and other vloggers have not only inspired me to start making my own (posted my first one last week), but also to find things that I very truly enjoy and want to share with other people. We watched you, tweet you, and talk to you, and it is people who share and create in the way that you do that, in my opinion, help build a truly fantastic community, whether we ever meet or only know eachother's screen names. Please, keep creating :-)

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  2. You find the words to express what a lot people cant or wouldnt and some one somewhere is going to benefit from your open heart, reading this, and every thing that you do
    Im not going to say i know who you are but what you express is creative, well thought, honest and intelligent and i admire that in people, if i could be half of what you are i would be more content with my self, never give up creating, never surrender and keep changing your hair colour you little green lantern

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  3. I lost my brother 2 years ago and my mom when I was 19. The pain from this is dealt with on a daily basis, and for this I am glad. Because if I didn't it meant they didn't matter. They did. And I miss them horribly.

    Everyone grieves differently, and every way is 100% correct. If you are trying to help someone grieving, just listen, be understanding and supportive, and above all know that the person who is mourning turned to you for a reason. BE that reason as best as you can, for them. Be patient, be loving, and above all else understanding. There is no book on how many days it takes. It will take as long as it takes. You lose a part of you life and can never get it back. You must come to terms with it, and move on. And from the little I know about Kiri she has done an outstanding job at this.

    Life is the greatest gift in the verse, and we have the capacity to do amazing things. The ability to build strength from loss is one of our greatest traits, and in my opinion one of the most amazing.

    Miss Callaghan, you are so wise beyond your years, and I am so very proud at how you have dealt with this. You haven't hid. To my knowledge you haven't lashed out (at least not on social media). You have brought others joy through your own pain, and you've above all been honest. On this American Thanksgiving I am thankful for your lightning wit, and your adorable whimsy. The world is a better place with you entertaining us. Thank you.

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